Hot Yoga vs Taquitos

I. Love. Hot. Yoga. I love it to the point where it’s almost an addiction.

But, if you don’t live with me or hang out with me regularly on weeknights – you would have no idea. It’s not something that I talk about very often.

I go to classes between 0 and 6 times a week. My yoga schedule is directly correlated with my drinking schedule. If someone asked me to go to happy hour – I will never say, “No sorry, I have to go to yoga.”

I wouldn’t consider myself a yogi. I wouldn’t even say that I practice yoga.  I would say that I do yoga when I’m not drunk or hungover.

With that being said – there are a lot of things I love about it and a couple things that I hate.

I love what I call ‘story time’ –  You know, where you lay on your back and the instructor tells you a feel good story that always has a happy ending. Something along the lines of a little boy carrying 500 rocks up a mountain and he makes it to the top. So the moral of the story is that you can do anything you set your mind to.  Of course there is more detail and it’s said in a soothing voice. I probably wouldn’t be the best story time teller.

I love the smell good spray  that they cover the room with at the end of the class.

I love live music Mondays – and hot guitar playing Seth.

I love tree.

I hate camel. I will never do it. It makes me feel like I’m gonna pass out and throw up all at the same time. It’s dumb. And I hate it.

I hate when I get out of class and my phone looks like this.


It’s enough to give me a panic attack. I’m unavailable for 75 minutes of the day. CALM. DOWN.

I hate that the coffee shop next door is $7 for a chai tea latte. But every Saturday morning – I buy it anyway.

I also hate being in the back of the class. Because if I’m in the back of the class, I can see the 7/11 sign from the high window. And that is just taquito temptation at its finest.

And yes, I have given into that temptation and left hot yoga class early to get a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.. and then went to meet my friends at a bar. I’m only human.


This is neither a love nor a hate – just a fact – I’m pretty sure that I sweat more than anyone in the room. I walk out at the end of class with fingers so wrinkly that it looks like I fell asleep in a bathtub for 2 days.  I sweat out of places that I didn’t know could sweat. My forearms sweat! What is that! I’m so jealous that the guys can take their shirts off. That’s not fair at all.

So if somebody asked me, “Hey Jordan – hot yoga or taquitos?” I’d say, “Good question, somebody. Both!”

Today starts a yoga challenge – 30 classes in 40 days. I am 90% sure that I can do that. As long as my friends are all out of town and no one asks me to hang out. ever.

I could definitely eat 30 taquitos in 40 days. That sounds more fun.

Wish me luck,

– J


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