My Irrational Thoughts

I feel like I’m a pretty rational person. And that’s why I know when I’m being completely irrational.  There are some things that I do/say/think that I absolutely know are irrational – but I do them anyway.

Like the fact that I navigate the highway based on which hot guys are driving in which lanes. What do I think? That I’m going to see a guy in the car next to me on I-25 and we are just going to fall in love? I take complete responsibility for 70% of traffic in Denver.

Or the time that I made out with the guy I like’s friend… right in front of him. That was irrational. And dumb. Seriously – there’s no coming back from something like that. To be fair, his friend had a man bun.

I will waste 2 hours every week watching The Bachelorette. When people ask me why – I always say ‘They’re just looking for love!’ which… sadly, half of me believes. Deep down I know that very little about that show is real – but I can’t. stop. watching.

Irrationality is the thought that if I got to spend any quality time with Anthony Green we would fall madly, deeply in love.  Just kidding – stay with your awesome wife and your adorable baby boys.

And sometimes I think that when my brother uploads the same picture as me on Instagram that I will get more likes than him. Which is impossible.  I don’t know when he got so popular.

family photo

Or that one day I’m just going to wake up and be able to pull off a white silk jumpsuit. Let’s be real.

It’s wayyy irrational to think that since I played soccer growing up for like… 2 years when I was 9 – that I can just join an indoor soccer league and dominate.

One of the most irrational thoughts I’ve ever had was – that after my dog got shaved – I went on vacation for 5 days and expected to come back to her old shaggy self. I was so wrong. And so disappointed.

Fear is one of the least rational things that exist. My biggest fear is that I’m going to marry a serial killer. The wives are ALWAYS the last ones to know. So…

I also know that it’s irrational to drive all the way to the airport just for TCBY. Psych. That’s not irrational. That’s necessary. And awesome.

Now that I wrote this – I’m not sure if I know the difference between irrational, unreasonable, delusional and wishful thinking.

I hope this wasted as much of your time as it did mine. Either way.. TCBY fo’ life.

–  J


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