So you think you can sing?

Have you ever met those people who think they can sing but they really can’t? That’s me.

Recently, five separate incidents have me obsessed with all things musical and wish that I had talent.

IN THE BUFF

I attended the Winter Fashion Show lunch at The Four Seasons.  It was kind of awkward and not what I expected… except for this one particular treat.  CU’s A Capella Group – In The Buff.  I am so obsessed with these guys.  Like – an obsession that may turn into stalking considering that I will go see them wherever they are performing.  They did a composition of Blink 182 songs and I think I died a little.  Check them out.  Wherever they go, I’ll be there.  Look for me. I’ll be the crazy girl throwing her bra at the group of 18 year old melodic miracles. 

PITCH PERFECT

I know, I know – I am sooo far behind on this one.  But I just saw it on TV a couple weeks ago and watched it 4 times in that same week.  I think it’s hilarious and super cute.  Plus – singing people are hot.
pitch slapped
My cousin and I even tried to organize a ‘Riff Off’ on Thanksgiving.  It was a failed idea, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good one.  Drunk family members trying to sing and cooperate with each other? Now, that’s aca-awesome.

THE VOICE

I just started watching Season 5 last week and I’m an addict.  I’m binge watching.  There are so many things that I love about it.

CeeLo’s baby hands.
cee lo

Xtina’s rockin’ bod.
xtina

Blake’s country twang and cockiness.
blake-shelton-the-voicejpg

And, well – Adam’s everything.
adam

And the talent on this show is unbelievable.  I just want to hibernate in my bed and watch it forever (and thanks to Hulu, this is actually an option.)  I haven’t even gotten to the live shows yet and I think that everyone should win.  I have to make a conscious effort not to pay attention to any news regarding who is winning because I want to be surprised. So don’t tell me unless you want your eyes gauged out with my flute cleaner from 5th grade.

ADELE

Love this bitch.  I bought this CD at Starbucks because I’m an impulse buyer – those last minute boxes and bins of things that are situated in stores while you wait in line were invented because of people like me.  Really – who actually buys the CD’s at Starbucks?  This CD has been out since 2011 but, a voice like hers is timeless.  If I had the talent to sing like her I would be the annoying person who just sings instead of talking.  But I don’t. And I want to be her.  She makes me so happy because she is so sad.

KARAOKE

So this is more of a memory than a recent event due to the fact that I have yet to find a karaoke bar in Denver that is as awesome as the one in Philly.  The two most unforgettable times that I have sung karaoke have been at a lesbian bar in Philadelphia.  If anyone gets the chance to go to Sisters on a Thursday night – I can promise you that you won’t be disappointed.  This place has THE. BEST. KARAOKE.  I am not even exaggerating.  There is no judgment there.  I can prove it to you.

The first time I was there a couple of us decided to sing Love Shack.  How typically white girl of us.  But – to my defense – did anyone know that there is more than just the chorus to that song? I didn’t.  And I don’t think anyone that I was singing with did either because besides “Love Shack, Baby, Love Shack,” the lady that sits at the end of the stage with a mic to ‘back up sing’ literally had to carry us.  We were drowning.  She had to carry us on her head in a basket across the Nile River. That is, until the chorus came back around.  Then we jumped back into the water and backstroked like pros. And you know what? At the end of the song – people clapped.  Like, hands coming together in appreciation and congratulations.  It might have been a little bit out of pity but, hey, we should have been booed off the stage when they announced which song we were singing.

The second time around, a couple weeks later, our drunk asses decided to get on stage in front of a bunch of girls, some guys, and lots of girls who looked like guys to sing Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.  To be honest, I’m not sure why this song is even an option on a karaoke list.  It was probably a joke like, “Hey – let’s see which assholes actually try to attempt singing this song in public.” Jokes on us – we were those assholes.  I don’t remember much of the time spent on stage (except that I had maracas) because I must have blacked out due to a mixture of vodka and embarrassment.  But what I do know was that when it was all over – people clapped, AGAIN!  I swear… If you ever need an ego boost, or are having a shitty day, or just want to feel good about yourself.  Go to Sisters.  I am proof that you can do no wrong there.  And chances are that you will even get hit on.  I did. Waiting in line for the bathroom.  Go figure.  Although, it probably was one of the longest lines I had to stand in.  You’d think they’d make more girls stalls in a lesbian bar.

For future reference – when I do find that golden karaoke bar in Denver – my current go to karaoke song is Believe by Cher.  A power ballad. If you’re lucky – I’ll video tape it.  American Idol – here I come!

MUSICAL BONUS FOR YOUR EARS: My long time friend and neighbor, Taylor,  has created some kick ass beats that has become my new favorite writing music.  You won’t be disappointed –>  T the Human.

– J

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