The one night stand.

This goes out to all my 20-something-single-lady readers.  There will always be a double standard with guys and girls.  Always.  It doesn’t mean it’s right – but it’s not going to change.

With that being said – last night, I committed my first real one night stand.  On St. Patrick’s Day no less.  I took kiss me I’m Irish to the next level up.

Now – most of you are probably thinking. WHAT? WHY? AT 22? HOW?

That’s right folks, I had a ‘boyfriend’ through most of college and was not big into cheating at the time.

SO..

Here are my conditions for a perfect O.N.S.:

  • You can not be friends with the guy beforehand.  Meaning – the guy of your choosing must be a complete stranger to you.  This eliminates all those friends that you’ve done the deed with just once.
  • You must meet in some crazy off-guard way.  For me it was at Biker Jim’s waiting in line to order (even though I don’t eat hot dogs.. or anything else on their menu).  Wait, why was I standing in line again?
  • Be bold.  Why not? Unless you plan on marrying this stranger you just met, which I highly doubt, who cares what they think of you.
  • Make sure you have some type of transportation home.  Think Jersey Shore style – call a cab and get outta there. Know where you are and know your name.

Faux Paux’s:

  • Don’t leave anything important at his place.  It makes for a really awkward return. In this particular case, “Oh hey, remember me? Yeah, from about 3 hours ago.. Well, I left my car keys on your couch.  Mind if I come in and grab them? Ok, thanks. See you never.” 
  • Don’t think he’s going to call you again – especially if he lost his phone on the cab ride back to his place the night before.
  • Don’t give all the details to acquaintances.  Leave that to family and best friends – people are judgmental.
  • Don’t try to be friends with his friends/roommates/dog.  They don’t care.

Here are some pictures of the evening before I took the desperate slide into finding the lucky guy I went home with.

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Stay classy, sluts,

J

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